From selling your children’s concert tickets to sending your
children away to packing your kid dog poop for lunch we look at 15 worst
punishments ever given by a parent.
15 – Embarrassing Signs: The new form of spanking is publically humiliating your kids into being little angels with this new popular punishment. It seems like every day there’s a new image of a child holding up a sign saying “I got bad grades” or “I hit my sister” or “I walked in on mommy and daddy in the bedroom”. Okay maybe not that one but still it’s at epidemic levels. But is it really worth giving your child a repressed shame complex because little Billy didn’t get that A on his history test. Well if Facebook is anything to go by then yes fuck you little Billy and prepare to be shamed.
14 – Forcing hot sauce in your mouth. Well this is one that
would have your children begging for the old soap-in-the-mouth punishment, if
just to get rid of the hot sauce in their face hole. This near abusive
punishment was highlighted on old episode of everyone’s favorite fake TV psych
Dr. Phil which showed the mother
punishing the child for lying by burning away his taste buds and then forcing
him to take cold shower, all because he lied over fighting about pencils or
something. Still could have been worse for the little tyke, his mother could
have filled his mouth up with mayonnaise or vegemite. Or both.
Excuse me I need to vomit.
13 – Hacking your Facebook: Another in the long line of psychologically
scarring your kid so they can learn what’s good for them I tell you what. This
cyber age punishment involves hacking your child’s profile and changing all
their images to let everyone know they are currently being banned from Facebook
and to contact the mother to know why. Turns out the 13 year old was guilty of
“disrespecting” her mother while her friends were around. The horror. The humiliating change involved
placing red x’s over the girl’s mouth in all he pictures to symbolize that she
“Can’t keep her mouth shut”. I’m sure
such public punishment caused no bullying from friends later on because kids
are great at ignoring stuff that happens on the internet.
12 – Sell their One Direction Tickets: Well when you find
your young girls hanging out at older men’s houses then there is only one
course of action to make sure it never happens again. This one was pretty
public after the odd listing popped up on EBay detailing the sordid story of
how the kids had sleep overs with older men so you better believe they can’t be
trusted in the pure sexual energy of a One Direction concert. That’ll show
those damn kids not tomes around or it will just make them into angry teenagers
who will have more “sleep overs” with older men to get back at their
parents.
11 – Have your Dad’s face on your shirt: Want to be a hot
new trend setter in fashion? Well you too can have your Dad’s angry face on
your shirt for the low price of breaking the rules. This one you might have
seen floating around the red it wastelands when a dad decided that the perfect
punishment for his daughter breaking curfew was to pull a mean face and get it
printed on her new uniform for school. I’m guessing he was attempting to scare the
boys away from his child with his scowling face over the words try me but I’m
pretty sure most people would have thought this guy was a clown…or maybe they
would want a shirt with his face on it too.
I’ve got one.
10 – Forced Senate Watching: Oh man this is the best idea,
take boring politics and turn it into a torture device that’s also educational.
So this is another punishment created for breaking curfew by a Dad in
Cincinnati who must be a sadistic bastard.
The punishment involves watching 5 minutes of C-Span for everyone 1
minute they were late home along with having to do a report on all the
political stuff they were just forced to watch. I’m sure those kids were never
late home ever again… that or it turned them into the 2032 presidential
candidate…win win.
9 – The Short Shorts Torture: Well if you can’t force you
kid to wear embarrassing clothing then you can certainly have the same effect
by wearing embarrassing clothing yourself. After trying to get his Daughter to
stop wearing short shorts, this 52 year old father decided “well I’m going to
show you how stupid you look” and wore similar short shorts out to dinner with
his daughter. That’s one way to get your
point across I guess. However the plan kind a backfired and daughter posted
photos of her dad to Facebook, apparently relishing in his humiliation. Maybe next time he needs to wear a
bikini.
8 – Forced Basketball Games: What? Yes apparently forcing
you to play team sports is an adequate punishment in some parts of the world. This
one isn’t actually done by the parents but by a Juvenile county court of
Tennessee run day school that forces delinquent kids to buckle down and play
Basketball. Aimed at being more of a
rehabilitation project its one step away from being a dystopian death game. I
can see it now “The year is 2057 and all children that break the rules are sent
to the Basket-Dome, Two teams enter…one team leaves”. Hell that’s not a bad idea for a movie.
7 – A Good Licking: For parents who want to just weird the
fuck out of their kid so that they submit to your authority and develop weird
sexual fetishes. This one is a story
told by Hollywood star Rosario Dawson about how her mother would let loose a
tongue of fury when she played up as a child.
Covering her child in saliva apparently worked and considering how her
daughter turned out maybe more parents should consider it. But just remember
you should probably have an age limit for when this type of punishment should
expire, no one wants to see a dad licking their 14 year old daughter’s face…
6 – Shoot their Computer: The most violent way of banning
your kid from spending all day on YouTube and Facebook is to just take out
behind the barn and give it the ol’ yell a treatment. The computer I mean…not the
kid. This one went viral when the
incident of the dad executing his daughter’s laptop was filmed and put on the
net for all to see its glory. The family were investigated by child services but
laptop murder isn’t a crime. Police even congratulated the father on doing
parenting right . . . the cops supporting a guy who shoots things to solve his
problems is too stereotypical to be true.
5 – Sword Duel: Finally a use for all your LARP-ing
equipment that doesn’t involve hanging out with the guys your wife calls
losers. If you follow the example of this father who decided his daughter was
old enough at16 to “fight” out their differences, giving her a wooden sword and
shield along with a suit of amour before challenging her to a duel. The fight lasted 2 hours and the girl was
bruised badly. Unfortunately today’s law enforcement doesn’t seem to be open to
you going medieval on your daughter’s ass and the father was charged with
assault. Well I guess the daughter won
that fight in the end.
4 – The Ol’ Dog Poop backpack: Oh man if I had a penny for
all the times I got to school and opened up my bag for lunch to find dog poop
I’d have no goddamn pennies. This weird form of punishment happened in LA when
a child didn’t do the chore of picking up the canine poop, so to teach him a
lesson the parents decided he would have to walk around with it all day. The same parents were also charged with child
abuse for making the boy sleep outside with the same dog. So next time your
friend comes to school smelling like dog poo you might want to stay the fuck
away from their parents. Just say in.
3 – Starvation: Here’s a punishment that will get your kid
to do their homework and save you money at the grocery store. At least that’s
what the adoptive mother of 3 children must have been thinking when she decided
to deny her kids food for not behaving.
The torture was exposed when one of the children ran away and was picked
up by police. The 9 year was extremely
underweight and suffering health issues from ongoing punishment such as having
the bone structure of a 5 year old. So yeah we recommend NOT starving your child
to get them to do homework which if you need a YouTube video to tell you that then
you shouldn’t have children.
2 – Diaper Them: Well you know what they say, if you are
going to act like a baby we’ll treat you like a baby but perhaps that wasn’t
meant to be this literal. Yes these parents decided that to punish their 12 year
old daughter getting F’s on a report card that they would force her into a
diaper, shave her head and make her rundown the street. That’ll teach her to get an F in gym. The neighborhood was naturally disturbed over
the sight of the diapered girl running wild and called the police. The parents
were sent to jail for a year over what the judge ruled “an assault on her
dignity” which hopefully means that’ll teach them to not be terrible parents.
1 – Kidnapping. And here we get to the ultimate way to traumatize
your child to teach them that they live by your rules or you’ll god damn kill them.
Basically for $40,000 you can send your unruly teen to a prison camp for moral
reprogramming which is what the Levey family did to their daughter Shannon who
was partying a little too hard. The camp
focused on therapy, labourand being a hell hole. Just the place you want to send your pride
and joy to. • It’s actually a pretty underground thing that happens in
countries where it’s not reported, in some places especially for homosexual
teens who parents want.
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